I should feel sorry. I should feel guilty. I should feel like confessing, like I need to seek redemption and solace, to clear myself, cleanse myself, purify from these wonderful, painful, and ecstasy inducing thoughts. The sky is falling on me, and I couldn't relish it more. The sky is crumbling and soaking me, letting me feel cleaned and pure, but still holding me back. The ultimate of betrayls, and all I can think of doing is soaking in the sky's euphoria, drinking it, lapping it, bathing in it, trying to become one with the sky and enjoy it, forget the realm of what is now and here, just hide behind the sky's size and totalness...find a way to become one with it so completely that I can lose who I am in it's beauty and lust.....MY beauty and lust. The ability to say fuckitall! Take me now and enjoy the ride, dowse me in all the sky has to offer, and stop these tears of shame, but ones of fulillment and beauty can fill my eyes. But even the sky is embarassed and shy. Turns away from my touch and my ability and want to do more than touch. it just sighs, and whispers of things I never want to hear, or at least things that I don't want to hear right now. SIng to my I ask, almost plead....just looking for agreement and happiness,m if only for a moment. But it won't be a moment, it will be a chain of them, SO BE IT!! let me tangle myself in you, and find myself again from all I'm sacrafices and willing to give. LOVE ME! totally, and tell me all I want to hear! and never speak of it to anyone. And the sky sees my requests, and while it doesn't laugh, it may as well for all the hurt it's rejection brings.

Myabe I should just get over it, stay who I am, where I am, and bid farewell to the sky's allure and stay true to my path....if only the trail didn't follow this direction and down this hall with all of it's darkness and the surrounding sky.